Bird Poop

Someone at work sent me this really cute forward. Instead of forwarding it to all of you, I thought I'd just post it here for you to see and comment on how cute it really is. Don't you just hate having to PUSH 1 FOR ENGLISH? What a pain. Too bad about the carpal tunnel.

THIS SAYS IT ALL

Take Down the Bird Feeder

(picture of Maxine)

The analogy is absolutely right on...
Maxine tells it like it is!

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table, everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.

Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.

---

Dear Friend Who I Haven't Really Talked to in 6 Years,
We had fun times when we used to work together. And remember that time we ran into each other a couple of years after your wedding and exchanged numbers? You know, just in case we ever wanted to hang out, although we really don't have a lot in common and never really socialized that much before? Don't get me wrong. I think you're really great. But I have to say that I'm just a little disappointed. I was thrilled to hear from you after all this time. There's nothing I love more than random calls out of the blue from old friends. I thought you were inviting me to a mutual former co-worker shower of some kind or just thinking about me and wanting to get together, which would have been just really a treat! But just for future reference, friend, when it's to invite me over to present me with a business venture...odds are I'm gonna be less excited. Thanks but no.

Love,
Kristy

Utah Has Water, Too

I know it's almost Friday, but I'm talking about last weekend, the long one with two holidays in it. The first holiday was Valentine's Day. I will just say that it was my best ever and I especially enjoyed eating a romantic dinner (that I made) in our pajamas because we couldn't think of anything more romantic than being lazy all day. The rest is none-of-your-damn-business. By Sunday afternoon, we were getting a little stir crazy, so we decided to take a drive. I took Chouaib out to the Grand Lac Salé. We took some pictures.
He loves me even without makeup.
Solo.
We love each otherz.
Pier. No people.
It was stanky, so we left. If it weren't for the stank, Utah's big body of water might actually be quite nice.

My NeighborHOOD

Technically, we live in South Salt Lake. Just a few blocks east of us, however, is the area called Sugarhouse. I first lived there in 1999 and since then it has blossomed into a cooler part of town, complete with everything from Old Navy to the coolest second-hand store there is, Pib's exchange. There's a Tea Grotto and a Got Beauty, furniture stores, a beautiful park, and some great restaurants. There are also some empty store fronts that increase in quantity and decrease in aesthetic quality as you progress southward along 2100 South. This is closer to where I live. So for obvious reasons, I tell people that I live in Sugarhouse. But today, while window shopping Craigslist for rugs that I can't afford right now, I found a clever person who had come up with the perfect name for where I live. Check out the location. Awww yeah.

A Couple of Randoms

I knew I had to post these before I go to work today or I will completely forget. First, I got this email from my mom, who can't smell. I don't know if you will find it as funny as I did, but...

Here is a fun and quick way to stay in touch.
Let's see how many I get back...

1) Four places that I go to over and over: 24 hour fitness, church, home, K=mart

2) Four people who e-mail me (regularly): Jeff, Jeremy, Kristy, Beverly

3) Four favorite smells: ???

4) Four places I would rather be right now: Zion National Park, the mountains, Hawaii, Guatemala

5) Four people I think will respond: Kristy, Jeremy, Beverly, Kaylene

6) Four TV shows I watch: The Office, American Idol, ER, Deal or No Deal
Here's what you are supposed to do...and please don't spoil the fun...
Hit 'forward,' delete my answers, type in your answers and send it to a
bunch of people, including me. It's SIX questions. Take the time.

Second, I had a dream last night that my friend Travis announced that he was to have a son. He didn't give any more details than that. When the baby was born, it was very very black. The darkest black I'd ever seen on a human being. We still didn't know who the mom was and I have no idea what this means. But congratulations, Trav.

Also, I hate changing font/color in the middle of a post because I always forget what my original color and font were.

Shake That Thing

I'm sure you've either heard about or even participated in the 25 Things About Me Note on Facebook. Well, on hers, my friend, Bethany mentioned that she was addicted to spinach smoothies. They sound healthy, but disgusting. However, I know that Bethany has great taste and wouldn't tell me that something was yummy if it weren't. So lately I've decided I need to stop talking about dieting and not eating cookies, Coke and pizza so much and actually take a step toward incorporating healthier stuff into my daily regime. One of those steps is to eat more raw vegetables. I'm not going hippie here, just healthier. So I got the Spinach Smoothie recipe from Bethany and tried it. Holy goodness! It's like a Jamba minus the sherbet (NOT sherBERT) and sugar, plus all the goodness that spinach contains. We know that spinach is healthy, but do you know just HOW healthy? Here's what I got from my research (on the internet, so it's true). Spinach has loads of folic acid, or folate. Folate, according to wikid-pedia, can reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease (maybe it will undo all my years of indulging in cheese and ice cream), stroke (it runs in the family), birth defects (in case Chouaib puts a baby in me - it's too late to undo MY birth defects), and - on that note - increases fertility. It's magic! Magic you can drink that tastes like strawberries and oranges! Here is the recipe:

In a blender add:

1 C. orange juice
2 C. fresh spinach (not the frozen kind)
1 C. fresh kale (cut out the thick center stem)

Blend until smooth, and runny, and nasty green.

Then add:

1/2 a banana
1/4 C. frozen raspberries
1/4 C. frozen blueberries

I didn't have kale, so I threw in more spinach instead. For the frozen fruit, I substituted frozen strawberries and threw in some fresh blackberries. I probably used more fruit than the recipe calls for. But, still, it's pretty awesome in all its versatility.

Thanks, Bethany, for saving my life.

*Photo by Lindi McLaughlin

Breaking Up Is...meh

It's kind of sad when you break up with a friend. But making it easier is the consolation that my first instincts were correct. Next time I will listen to my gut.