I have been growing so much hair on my head lately that I actually have to spend a considerable amount of time styling it every day or else I end up looking like Robert Plant back in bell bottoms and shirt-open-to-the-navel days. It's attractive if you like dry, frizzy hippie hair, but I don't know anyone who does. Besides, it's unprofessional and I like my job too much to get fired for looking like I just came to work from a love-in.

So yesterday I stopped at the beauty supply store to buy some velcro curlers, hoping to be able to tame my mane somewhat. When I got to the counter to purchase them, I noticed something awesome on the package - this girl's hair.

I asked the girl ringing up my items if she thought I could get the curlers to style my hair like the girl's on the package. Fabulous, kind customer service person that she was, she began to tell me that I might want to opt for smaller curlers when the behind her started giggling. I was like "what? That was totally hot in 1989!! If you were a German girl."

I Wanna Be a Nacho Man

It's really nice when someone wants to take you to dinner. Especially when it's your mom and you're her only daughter and it's a special occasion, like your birthday, because then you get to wherever you want, right? Well, unless you choose Bajio because they have the best nachos ever if you get them the right way and your mom says, "I've never really liked anything I've had there. I guess I've only been there once but...why don't we go to Café Rio?"

"But nachos from Bajio are like my most favorite thing in the world, momma." I don't usually call her momma and I don't know why that came out, even my husband, who was sitting there, looked at me strangely and then repeated "momma?" Silence.

"But Rio is good, too. We can go there, I guess. I don't care." But I really do. It's my freaking BIRTHDAY. I should get to choose, right? It's not like everyone hates crap and I love it and I'm asking them to eat at Randy's Crap Village (worst restaurant name ever - if you ever open up a restaurant, don't use this).

A few years ago, a similar thing happened. It was my birthday. She offered to take me out. She suggested a Mexican restaurant. It was a local chain that I didn't know much about and had never been to and was not really interested in trying out for a birthday dinner. I offered up some comparable alternatives, noting that I'd really like Mexican food. "Well, if you want Mexican, why don't we just go to [her suggestion]?" So, we went. It was sick. They only offered one kind of beans: runny refried. And it just got worse from there. My body refused to digest it and the refried beans became regurgitated beans later that night. Happy birthday to me.

I don't know. Maybe she's getting me back for when I was little. My dad was in the army so every time we went onto the base, every man in fatigues was "daddy." I was 2, in the shopping cart saying "hi, daddy!" to every man in uniform. Or there was the one time in the PX when I was a little older and potty-trained by now, just getting used to big-girl underwear and realizing how it can creep up when I felt the need to let her (and everyone within earshot) know "my panties are stuck up my bum!"

Yes, she could be getting me back. But I doubt it. I just think I need to remind her that it's MY birthday and that according to the laws of the universe, we should go where I want.

In case you're wondering, here is the correct way to do Bajio nachos. It's worked for me since 2006:
*chips & cheese (make sure they don't broil it too long)
*either rice works great but I usually prefer the *sweet
*the burracho beans have the best flavor - refried suck for nachos black just don't taste right
*beef - not chicken, not pork, their beef is to DIE for...so yummy
*green sauce
(I'm telling you these ingredients = a magic potion DON'T MESS IT UP)
*more cheese (more broiler)
*pico
*guacamole
*ask for a couple of limes and make sure you squeeze the juice on the nachos before indulging
NO SOUR CREAM (it's fattening ha ha)

Sometimes you'll get a new person who doesn't know what they're doing and they'll ask if you want onions and corn. It's ok to add these if you like them. They won't mess up the formula.

Damn. Now I'm hungry. Time to put my foot down.

Really?

I just saw this on tv.

This program may contain scenes of sports fishing.
Parental discretion is advised.

In case your child develops spontaneous narcolepsy and falls off the couch.
I should really not even turn on the tv on Saturdays.

I haven't run since the last time. I've encountered some obstacles like searing heat, fatigue, laziness, and girl pains that I've never experienced before that led to things exploding inside me (this might have been the cause of the fatigue also). To clarify, I found out Thursday that I had an ovarian cyst explode and another intact. So to avoid exploding Tori (that is what I've named her), I've decided not to run for a while. Last night the hubs and I did take a walk, though, right over to the 7-11 for Slurpees to slurp on while we watched Pioneer Day fireworks.

Again

I should have done it again before yesterday, but I think the hour and a half was a little bit much Saturday and I was still hurting. So yesterday I did another combo walk/run for 30-35 minutes around the neighborhood. I have some issues with running. First of all, I don't like it when people see me running. For instance, if I'm in a good run and I come up on a Mexican sitting in a car listening to his stereo really loud, as it sometimes (yesterday) happens in my neighborhood, I will stop and act like I was just walking. It garners less attention and then people don't wonder "why is that girl acting like she can run when she is clearly NOT a runner?" Secondly, I have issues with my cows - I mean calves. Most people worry about their knees when they run. For me, ever since I played soccer in high school, my Popeye calves, especially the left one, have hated exercise and are determined to keep me and running from having any kind of civil relationship. Well, calves, guess what. I am determined to become lovers with running. So there.

I Ran

Today I ran and I didn't die. I felt like I would. Fortunately there was a 7-11 at the half-way home point, so I stopped and got a free Crystal Light Slurpee to keep me going. I have the feeling my body will not like this at first but will thank me for it later. Right? I'm sure the chest pains will eventually go away or I will not notice them as much.

Bird Poop

Someone at work sent me this really cute forward. Instead of forwarding it to all of you, I thought I'd just post it here for you to see and comment on how cute it really is. Don't you just hate having to PUSH 1 FOR ENGLISH? What a pain. Too bad about the carpal tunnel.

THIS SAYS IT ALL

Take Down the Bird Feeder

(picture of Maxine)

The analogy is absolutely right on...
Maxine tells it like it is!

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. What a beauty of a bird feeder it is, as I filled it lovingly with seed.

Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue.

Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table, everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.

After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio.

Soon, the back yard was like it used to be.... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.

Now let's see. Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.

Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands.

Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor; your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English.

Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'Old Glory' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.

Just my opinion, but maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. If you agree, pass it on; if not, continue cleaning up the poop.

---

Dear Friend Who I Haven't Really Talked to in 6 Years,
We had fun times when we used to work together. And remember that time we ran into each other a couple of years after your wedding and exchanged numbers? You know, just in case we ever wanted to hang out, although we really don't have a lot in common and never really socialized that much before? Don't get me wrong. I think you're really great. But I have to say that I'm just a little disappointed. I was thrilled to hear from you after all this time. There's nothing I love more than random calls out of the blue from old friends. I thought you were inviting me to a mutual former co-worker shower of some kind or just thinking about me and wanting to get together, which would have been just really a treat! But just for future reference, friend, when it's to invite me over to present me with a business venture...odds are I'm gonna be less excited. Thanks but no.

Love,
Kristy

Utah Has Water, Too

I know it's almost Friday, but I'm talking about last weekend, the long one with two holidays in it. The first holiday was Valentine's Day. I will just say that it was my best ever and I especially enjoyed eating a romantic dinner (that I made) in our pajamas because we couldn't think of anything more romantic than being lazy all day. The rest is none-of-your-damn-business. By Sunday afternoon, we were getting a little stir crazy, so we decided to take a drive. I took Chouaib out to the Grand Lac Salé. We took some pictures.
He loves me even without makeup.
Solo.
We love each otherz.
Pier. No people.
It was stanky, so we left. If it weren't for the stank, Utah's big body of water might actually be quite nice.

My NeighborHOOD

Technically, we live in South Salt Lake. Just a few blocks east of us, however, is the area called Sugarhouse. I first lived there in 1999 and since then it has blossomed into a cooler part of town, complete with everything from Old Navy to the coolest second-hand store there is, Pib's exchange. There's a Tea Grotto and a Got Beauty, furniture stores, a beautiful park, and some great restaurants. There are also some empty store fronts that increase in quantity and decrease in aesthetic quality as you progress southward along 2100 South. This is closer to where I live. So for obvious reasons, I tell people that I live in Sugarhouse. But today, while window shopping Craigslist for rugs that I can't afford right now, I found a clever person who had come up with the perfect name for where I live. Check out the location. Awww yeah.

A Couple of Randoms

I knew I had to post these before I go to work today or I will completely forget. First, I got this email from my mom, who can't smell. I don't know if you will find it as funny as I did, but...

Here is a fun and quick way to stay in touch.
Let's see how many I get back...

1) Four places that I go to over and over: 24 hour fitness, church, home, K=mart

2) Four people who e-mail me (regularly): Jeff, Jeremy, Kristy, Beverly

3) Four favorite smells: ???

4) Four places I would rather be right now: Zion National Park, the mountains, Hawaii, Guatemala

5) Four people I think will respond: Kristy, Jeremy, Beverly, Kaylene

6) Four TV shows I watch: The Office, American Idol, ER, Deal or No Deal
Here's what you are supposed to do...and please don't spoil the fun...
Hit 'forward,' delete my answers, type in your answers and send it to a
bunch of people, including me. It's SIX questions. Take the time.

Second, I had a dream last night that my friend Travis announced that he was to have a son. He didn't give any more details than that. When the baby was born, it was very very black. The darkest black I'd ever seen on a human being. We still didn't know who the mom was and I have no idea what this means. But congratulations, Trav.

Also, I hate changing font/color in the middle of a post because I always forget what my original color and font were.

Shake That Thing

I'm sure you've either heard about or even participated in the 25 Things About Me Note on Facebook. Well, on hers, my friend, Bethany mentioned that she was addicted to spinach smoothies. They sound healthy, but disgusting. However, I know that Bethany has great taste and wouldn't tell me that something was yummy if it weren't. So lately I've decided I need to stop talking about dieting and not eating cookies, Coke and pizza so much and actually take a step toward incorporating healthier stuff into my daily regime. One of those steps is to eat more raw vegetables. I'm not going hippie here, just healthier. So I got the Spinach Smoothie recipe from Bethany and tried it. Holy goodness! It's like a Jamba minus the sherbet (NOT sherBERT) and sugar, plus all the goodness that spinach contains. We know that spinach is healthy, but do you know just HOW healthy? Here's what I got from my research (on the internet, so it's true). Spinach has loads of folic acid, or folate. Folate, according to wikid-pedia, can reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease (maybe it will undo all my years of indulging in cheese and ice cream), stroke (it runs in the family), birth defects (in case Chouaib puts a baby in me - it's too late to undo MY birth defects), and - on that note - increases fertility. It's magic! Magic you can drink that tastes like strawberries and oranges! Here is the recipe:

In a blender add:

1 C. orange juice
2 C. fresh spinach (not the frozen kind)
1 C. fresh kale (cut out the thick center stem)

Blend until smooth, and runny, and nasty green.

Then add:

1/2 a banana
1/4 C. frozen raspberries
1/4 C. frozen blueberries

I didn't have kale, so I threw in more spinach instead. For the frozen fruit, I substituted frozen strawberries and threw in some fresh blackberries. I probably used more fruit than the recipe calls for. But, still, it's pretty awesome in all its versatility.

Thanks, Bethany, for saving my life.

*Photo by Lindi McLaughlin

Breaking Up Is...meh

It's kind of sad when you break up with a friend. But making it easier is the consolation that my first instincts were correct. Next time I will listen to my gut.

A New Addition to My Blog Family

Come visit!

Don't You KNOW Who I am??

Patient: We have new insurance. Here's the card.

Me: (entering the info into the computer) Who is your husband's employer?

Patient: He's a physician at X hospital with X group.

Me: (looking for the code for X group in the computer, unable to find it) Let me confirm, your husband is employed by X group?

Patient (now MRS. DOCTOR): X hospital...emergency...blah blah blah...

Me: So X group is your husband's employer?

Mrs. Doctor: He is NOT EMPLOYED by X Hospital. Do you understand that?

Me: Do YOU understand that I am EASILY twice your weight and my "uneducated" ass could easily take your wrinkly old snobby ass DOWN before you can say "My husband is a PHYSICIAN" again?

You Can Shave the Baby!

Shut Up and Drive

If I clock out of work and rush out the door right at 3:30 or even before (we're allowed to clock out 5 minutes early), I can catch the (approximate) 3:35 bus. This is great because it gets me home before 4:00 and I can watch Ellen. I used to prefer Oprah, but she's gotten thoo therious lately and Ellen, even though she's one of those gays, has something in common with me: her love for JT. There is a downside to catching the 3:35, however. It is Steven. I didn't ask him his name, he told me. Steven honks the horn as he approaches the bus stop. I think he thinks it's cute. He doesn't blare it, but just taps-taps-tappity-taps it. That in itself isn't terrible, neither are his efforts to be a friendly bus driver. But he pretty much ruined it from day 1 when I asked how he was doing, because he asked me, and he said, "oh, naughty!" Yikes. He proceeded to converse with me by yelling from his driving seat to the middle of the bus where I was sitting asking about where I work and what my plans were for the evening. When I answered out of politeness but without encouraging the conversation, he then told me he observed that I had a smirk and looked like I was up to mischief. I didn't doubt this, but seriously, dude. SHUT UP AND DRIVE BECAUSE YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT. He looks, acts and kind of talks like Don Knotts, minus the bug eyes, and has a little bit of Jimmy Stewart in him, if Jimmy Stewart were creepy. He has big teeth and is apparently more starved for attention than Britney Spears. Day 2 he got my name and even though I sat closer to the back, was nauseated, having hot flashes, and resting my head on the seat in front of me, he STILL kept trying to have conversation. I could appreciate if he were just being friendly and if I were sitting closer to his seat and seeming interested in carrying on a discussion with him, but this man is seriously creepy. He doesn't know when to stop. Since then I've been able to miraculously avoid getting on his bus without trying until today. Ugh. I can't find my shuffle, but was going to just bring my headphones and wear them anyway so I could pretend not to hear him. But I forgot them, so I pretended instead to read the City Weekly even though I got nauseated to do so. Tomorrow, I'm not forgetting my headphones.

This Is Me, I Guess

I have seen this meme on a few blogs and like the idea. Here's what I did:

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.http://www.flickr.com/search/

2. Using only the first page, pick an image.

3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php (choose four columns and three rows, also choose individual URL's)

Questions:

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?

6. Favorite drink?

7. Dream vacation?

8. Favorite dessert?

9. What you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. One word to describe you.

12. Your nickname.

Here's what I answered:

1. What is your first name? Kristy
2. What is your favorite food? All of it
3. What school did you go to? Ulm American
4. What is your favorite color? black
5. Who is your celebrity crush? Justin Timberlake
6. Favorite drink? Cherry Coke Zero
7. Dream vacation? Morocco
8. Favorite dessert? French pastries
9. What you want to be when you grow up? Business lady
10. What do you love most in life? relationships
11. One word to describe you. chunky
12. Your nickname. krispy

And on the way to making my mosaic, I found this.

Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburgers. If I weren't already one flight of stairs and a chocolate chip cookie away from a heart attack, I'd be half-tempted to try one.

Why I Love Old Navy

In case you were wondering, an angel threw up on my blog. That's why it's pink now. Grey was so blah I realized, silent, like Sunday...and Morrissey.

Lately I've realized that I've worn out (grown out of) my workout clothes and needed to buy some new ones. Since tomorrow is my first pay day (did you know that in French "payday" means homo or gay?) anyway, tomorrow is my first gay from the new job. So I decided to stop at The Old Navy because not only do they have great stuff for aging sailors, they have great deals. My favorite is when they have 50% off clearance. That's what they had today. So, to make my long story short, here goes:

one pair pajama pants
one pair yoga pants
one t-shirt that says "HO HO HO" on it
three pair of socks for working out
one red sweater (just like the one above)
one gift for a friend (SECRET!)

Total: $32.53. Happy happy day!!

And for the record, tonight I baked some fries with whole garlic cloves and olive oil and they were declared "the best fries in the world."

December has been an interesting month to say the least. At the beginning of the month, Chouaib lost his job. Since my two esthetician jobs were bringing in about $.50/week combined, we both went into serious job searching mode. That means searching for a serious job and we were serious about it. That's what that means. I came out the big winner with a job offer from the University of Utah Orthopaedic center as an outpatient service specialist. I pretty much wet myself when they offered me the job because a) I was totally convinced I blew the interview when I made a snarky remark to a co-applicant in a group exercise (this story is an entire blog entry in itself) and b) I asked for much more than I thought they would offer me, just to give myself some negotiating space but they offered me almost $1 more than I requested. Pretty amazing. I start January 5. Chouaib is still looking, but I doubt he's going to find anything until he actually has his green card, which is in the application process. I wish he'd hurry up, because we really need to buy a king-sized bed.

In the meantime, we're dreaming and scheming and enjoying married life and good friends. We also resolved to go to the gym every day. Since we met, we have gained almost 50 lbs combined. It sucks to admit, but I'm at a weight I haven't seen in over 4 years. So, yeah, we're making changes.

Here is a recap of December in pictures:

We put up our first Christmas tree. My non-Christian husband didn't even try to set it on fire.

This is a view from the outside.

I went to Temple Square with Melissa to see the lights.

This would be a great picture if I had a decent camera. But I will be thankful for my cell phone camera.

A pretty decoration at Temple Square.

I changed my hair color and Chouaib learned to shovel snow.

Adam, Jake and Chouaib. He fit right in at the family Christmas party.

Here's a close-up of the tree on Christmas morning. We went easy on the gifts this year. That thing in the background on the left is not a gift, but a Christmas decoration. It's a freaky half-breed of a snowman and a Christmas tree. I won't even ask how that happened. If you get too close to him and he's turned on (if his switch is turned on, not the other way, perv) he will sing Christmas songs in a creepy loud and obnoxious voice. I keep him though because it's not like I can be picky about my decorations yet. So I keep dreaming and scheming.

Happy Holidays, everyone.

A Few Things

I've been waiting for something really exciting to happen. I've made some good food lately, but I don't really want this to turn into a food blog. I guess the one thing I can say is that I've decided that my newly-chosen profession (as of 2005) isn't really working out that well for me. It's one of those things that I keep thinking will get better if I just stick with it. Then it does, but the really successful times are short-lived. Despite my best efforts to stick with it, it just doesn't seem to be cutting it. I've got the skills, but they're not paying the bills. Lame. On that note, I gave notice at my second job at a nearby salon, not only because it hasn'tbeen terribly busy, but also because I don't feel like I'm really a fit there. I'm the only esthetician there and the oldest employee, and, well...yeah. I'll just leave it at that. So I tell them Saturday that I'm ready to quit on the spot, but I that I will honor whatever appointments are already scheduled as to not leave them in a bind. As luck would have it, I am suddenly getting more appointments in one day than I usually do in a week. I'd like to think that this is the way it will stay, but I can't count on it. I'm babbling. Anyway, new developments are happening on that end and I will just have to update when I've got something solid.

Married life is still great. We're learning to compromise and I'm learning to be appreciative and not complain when he unloads the dishwasher before running it. We have interesting neighbors. Since we moved into this place at the end of September, they have not taken their trash cans to the curb ONCE. We quit doing it 4 weeks ago and they still have not taken it out. I don't understand this. They also don't seem to have considered that it's necessary to shovel and or salt the driveway and sidewalk that we share when it snows. We're in a duplex so to solve the garbage problem, we finally took a giant magic marker to two of the cans (there are four: two for recyclables and two regular ones) and wrote #1 on them, because we're awesome and to distinguish between our cans and theirs. They seem to have caught onto this system, and are only using their cans for their garbage, but they have yet to grasp the concept of taking them out to the curb on Thursday morning. They're starting to overflow. This should get interesting. But it's not our problem anymore.

Here's a picture I took today:

Pretty freaking awesome.

I think that's all for now. I'll try not to be so neglectful next time.

One more thing, I read in a magazine today an article about making a short (one or two items) Not To Do list for 2009 instead of a giant list of resolutions. This is a great idea. I'm going to think it over and write about it next time. I'm thinking of something along the lines of I'm Not Going to Be Poor Anymore.